Posted in Humor

The L.A.W. is Thrilled to be Trippin’. Who said that?

AmiraTL3CatTL3ElenaTL3JennaTL3KateTL3Credit: Freefoto.com

 

 

 

 

 

The last time with the L.A.W. Ronovan and the team faced off against zombies as they made their way toward the home of a key person behind the missing U’s and other letters threatening to make their friend Hugh disappear back in Britain. Just as they thought everything was finally okay they faced offed against an even bigger

“Thanks guys,” said Amira with a wave and a chin thrust. We had Thrillered for at last 10 blocks with the Zombie Horde as they showed us how to find our destination.

“No probs, A. Mak, just make sure I get that signed copy of The Reaping,” said the leader of the dance troop. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see the Musical Comedy theater production they had developed. Thriller meets Walking Dead meets Dirty Dancing. Would Baby eat her Daddy for putting her in the corner? Would she fall apart when lifted in the air? Would Johnny melt when he rehearsed in the river? Were Zombies afraid of water? Wait, was the Wicked Witch of the West a Zombie? Whoa!

“Ronovan?” I shook my head at the sound of the voice. Turning I saw hazel eyes staring into mine.

“Um, ya?” I asked Kate.

“Just checking. You had the concussed look like my daughter Molly used to get when dropped on her head as a flier in cheer.”

“Pretty close. I think I’ve been in Lubbock too long. I’m not all that thrilled to be here.”

“Muahahahaha!” Elena was cracking up. “Not ‘thrilled’. Zombies. Thriller. Hahahaahahahaa.”

“I think brain chick has been here to long too,” said Cat as she flexed her fingers.

“Well we’re here now,” I said, finally shaking off weird thoughts. “Let’s see if Cyril Bussiere is home.” I knocked on the door.

“What do you want?!”

I had not been expecting that kind of answer nor that accent. “You sure this is the right address?” I asked Elena.

“Yep. See the Napoleon shaped door knocker?”

I squinted. “Is that who it is? I thought it was Marlon Brando,” I said.

“It ain’t no Marlon Brando or  Nappy Poleon,” said the female voice behind the door.

“Then who is it?” I asked, figuring at least talking was something.

“Dennis Hopper, C.B. loved him some Speed. He watched that movie until the tape done broke in two and then had to get a DVD one.”

“Um, is C.B, I mean is Cyril home? We’re friends of his and kind of need to talk to him,” I said.

“That boy done gone and took off for the FeFe land. Scoundrel that he is. Gave me chocolates and nylons and then throws me to the side.” The door opened and the largest woman I had ever seen was in the door. Now I know people like to say that, but this woman was about 6’9″ and weighed easily 500 lbs. I don’t think there was much fat. She was round with what her Momma gave her. I’ll just say that.

“Urr, um, were you and Cyril . . .,” I began.

“Honey, that man done had me cleaning this apartment for him and that little sweet thing of a wife of his for a year now, and then he just up and leaves. Now what am I supposed to do for a job? Tell me that. Well what you standin’ there lookin’ like some fool who done seen the second comin’ of the Manga Carter.”

I was speechless. I really had no idea what to say to that. I really had no idea really what she was saying and coming from me that is saying a lot, if you really think about it. Things get kind of random around here.

“I know, I know!” We all turned and squinted.

“Honey, you best be turnin’ out them lights,” said the woman. “And put that hand down. This ain’t no class room. Wavin’ your hand like you some kindercare with a need to go number one or somethin’.”

“Sorry,” said Jenna as she put her hand over her smile and lowered the hand that had been waving in the air for attention. “But I bet that dance troop we just left could use some help. They mentioned something about cleaning out some store over on 5th and Walker.”

The woman reached inside and grabbed a bag and stormed out past us. There was silence as we all stared in stunned amazement that it, she moved.

“Okay,” said Amira. “Get going and search the house. C.B, I mean Cyril has obviously skipped the country but we need to find out all we can here before we head out.”

“But if he’s left already we are way behind,” said Cat.

“We have a way,” said Elena as she started dialing a number on the wrist thingy she had on.

The rest of us started searching the place. “Oh look, a Blue Moon,” said Kate.

We all looked at her as we knew the moon was white and shining tonight. She looked back at us and saw the confusion. “See,” she said holding up the bottle. “His favorite beer. I think it’s the Belgian thing about it. Nasty stuff, don’t you think?” She asked as she threw it out the window.

“I got something,” said Amira from a back room. We all rushed down the hallway.

“Looks like he’s been studying up on Oreos and their ingredients. I think these are recipes and he substituted these chemicals for some of the real ones or at least added them,” she said.

Kate leaned over her shoulder to look. She was the ingredient expert seeing as how she was the resident health nut. “If those things are what I think they are then they would add no taste to the Oreos or change the color and actually help burn calories as well.”

“Hugh is addicted to those things,” said Jenna. “Every time there is coffee there has to be some Oreos or some type of biscuit, as he likes to say.” She controlled the smile so it was just a grin. The strain was amazing and we were afraid she was going to pull a dimple muscle. It had happened before from what I had heard.

” And look at these,” said Elena. “Plans for some sort of helmet but no, not a helmet but a mind control device. They look like bowl cut hair styles.”

“Oh no, the Royal Family has those,” said Jenna.

“Mind altering Oreos, Mind Controlling Mop Tops,” I said. “This is bigger than Cyril. Someone must have a closer connection than even this diabolical Frenchxan.”

I noticed they all looked at me. “What?”

“Frenchxan?” Jenna asked. Yes, even she looked at me funny.

“Well he’s French and he lives in Texas so I put French and Texan together and . . .”

“We get it,” said Amira as she turned to Elena rubbing her forehead. “ETA?”

“Should be outside now,” said Elena.

“Okay, guys, time for a trip, outside.” We all marched outside at Amira’s words.

There was an odd blue telephone thing out there. “Wait, I’ve seen one of these on TV. It belongs to . . .,” I began.

“Who,” said a voice as the door opened.

Out walked a man I had only seen on TV. “Anyone want a jelly baby?” He asked in a British accent. I looked around at everyone. They all marched inside and took their favorite color jelly baby from him as if this was common.

“Well, are you coming or swimming?” The Doctor asked.

“Take the red one, Ronovan, the red one,” said Cat over her shoulder with a smile.

“I so can’t believe this,” I said.

“Who would?” Dr. Who asked. Then he laughed insanely as he shoved me in and we were suddenly streaking away.

 

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Author:

Ronovan Hester is an author, with a debut historical adventure novel Amber Wake: Gabriel Falling now on available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. "5.0 out of 5 stars: Now, I want to warn you… this is not your typical pirate tale! It’s BETTER!" "5.0 out of 5 stars: Totally unpredictable and a real gem of a discovery - Highly Recommended" "5.0 out of 5 stars: An action packed journey to piracy and revenge – all in the name of the crown, queen and county – set in 1705." He shares his life of problems and triumphs through his blog RonovanWrites.WordPress.com. His love of writing, authors and community through his online world has led to a growing Weekly Haiku Challenge, Weekly Fiction Prompt Challenge, and the creation of a site dedicated to book reviews, interviews and author resources known as LitWorldInterviews.com.

12 thoughts on “The L.A.W. is Thrilled to be Trippin’. Who said that?

  1. Haha, yet again random, but very entertaining 🙂 …er, that’s a tiny grin. Hopefully I don’t pull a dimple muscle.

    My favorite part: Thriller meets Walking Dead meets Dirty Dancing. Would Baby eat her Daddy for putting her in the corner? Would she fall apart when lifted in the air? …So funny!

    Great job!

    Like

    1. I have no idea where this one came from. I just knew the beginning was a troupe of dancers in Zombie makeup that took them to Cyril’s. Then I just let it ramble where to wanted to. I feel sorry of the housekeeping lady, and maybe that ‘dance troupe’ as well who was cleaning out a store once she reaches them.
      As for Cyril, I imagine he shows up soon enough. I better or you are one adios away from being the Invisible Man.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Hugh's Views & News and commented:
    The latest part of “The Grammar Black Market” story from Ronovan where a very special guest makes an appearance in the story to help the L.A.W. girls and Ronovan find the missing letters.
    Look out for Part 6 of “When Ronovan Met Miss Maple (on Skype) being publish at 17:00 GMT today where two British bloggers come face to face with a creature in Selfridges, which they have to fight to save all bloggers worldwide. Plus, find out who Gary the Rugby player has been dating for the last ten years without anybody ever noticing.

    Liked by 1 person

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